Growth group these last few weeks has been interesting in a somewhat uncomfortable way. It seems that God is challenging a handful of people around me to wait on Him, but in the waiting, they grow increasingly impatient to the point of despair. A young man visiting us for the first time cried as he shared of his struggle to find a job that used his gifts, and June shared that one of her sons also shed tears while talking about his struggle to find his first job out of college. And then there are two dear friends whose hearts have been terribly broken over the loss of men who they thought were there with them for their lifetimes. How much my heart aches when I remember being in the throes of depression because of similar circumstances. I wish I could have taken a double heaping then to shelter them from theirs now.
People close to me seem to be experiencing health scares as well, and I am not yet convinced it has anything to do with age. My own recent blood screening shows some abnormality that is "nothing to worry about", until you read the fine print, where talk of early demise seems to be a common theme. In all this turmoil, I find myself helpless, though desperately wanting to strip away pain from my hurting friends. Praying seems to be the only remedy.
The one thing, though, that strikes me in all of this is how God's will is bigger than a single decision. God has given me peace about certain decisions so much so, that whichever way I stepped, God would still gain glory and bless me in the process. What I find is most important is my position in relation to God in that decision, so that when it's not a matter of right versus wrong, it's a matter of submission and desire to let God lead. No one can stymie His destiny for us. We can make some bad choices, though, making the path there more painful, but God will get us there. It's all a matter of trusting God. Molly shared with me something profound that C.H. Welch wrote: "The Lord may not definitely have planned that this should overtake me, but He has most certainly permitted it. Therefore though it were an attack of an enemy, by the time it reaches me, it has the Lord's permission and therefore all is well. He will make it work together with all life's experiences for good."
I am so relieved to know that God is good, and even more glad to know that He loves me with all His goodness.
