Is it possible to live in contradiction? Finding joy in the day to day has been relatively easy lately, as I've made a conscious decision to recognize God's gifts at all levels. I'm grateful for everything from my well-designed, Japanese nail clipper that catches my errant, unwanted toe nails, my 5 wood, even though it lets me down 40% of the time, all the way up to the folks who have shared their daily days and nights of late with me. God's longsuffering wipes up the splattering of my bad decisions and ferrets a better Annie out of the crevices where I hide with my sins. Everyday, I am more conscious of His mercy, more stupified that He offers it on a regular basis to me. The good things become even better in this light.
But to look ahead to the years down the line destroys the smile I adorn during the waking hours. Hope alludes me. To put that non-refundable deposit on fleeting happiness, well that just seems nonsensical to me. My rest comes at the end of a day, knowing that I have made it through another 16 hours experiencing the little joys of today. Tomorrow? It does not belong to me.
So to those who see the golf slugging, corporate climbing, merry Annie, I've fooled you. I've made a fool of...well, just me.
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