Ironic

Another operator is just about to get written up for running product out of spec without notifying an engineer. To be safe, it's general practice for ops to call one of us if they cannot produce product to spec within normal operating process conditions. When they call us, they abdicate responsibility for shutting down production and potentially pushing bad material through the plant and onto the customer. So why is it that people figure that not disclosing information is better than being upfront and offering the situation as it is?

I suppose that I should also apply this philosophy to my own state of health. Sadness pervades my everyday, and I perceive my depression to unduly and emotionally tax those around me (or so I have been deceived to think that way). I wish I were not so sad, but it is a season of life I must endure. It is a strange place to be, needing company but not wanting to be around anyone. I can only tell you that despondency envelopes you like a high-walled fence. The walls continue to encroach upon your space and thus your sense of freedom, since your despair seems to constantly bring your thoughts back to the source of your pain. It is a vicious, unforgiving spiral. This makes it even more of an arduous task to dig your way out.

Fortunately for me, God is not only a merciful god, but He is also a stern God who has no patience for my inward melancholy. And thus it has been a relieving experience to tell those close to me the truth about the malady of my heart. I just hope their prayers are enough to tear some holes in my fence. I just want to be able to breathe again.