The number of people who walk across your welcome mat and are lucky enough to be invited into your home is amazing. Just think about the various faces that have come and gone and have touched your life in one way or another. And as exciting as that sounds, I have become somewhat weary and unfortunately jaded about responding to the doorbell. The energy I need to expend to stop what I'm doing, get up, walk to the door, unlock it, and give another person a piece of my day is sometimes just too much.
In the last three years, I have been burned by the solicitor at my door three times. Close friends bearing gifts of fellowship, pockets of surprise fun, and a sense of security even when your heart is wide open have come to turn their backs on the scarce commodity of true friendship. One friend had a baby, and I can understand the dramatic life change that can isolate you from many, but not returning phone calls and emails for almost two years? And how about the one who dropped folks like last season's J.Crew catalogue when he got his first girlfriend? Nevermind having the life sucked out of us keeping him out of the clinical depression pit on a daily basis. Heck, we even held a prayer meeting for him. I guess throwing him a birthday lunch and giving him a gift isn't motivation enough to invite a "hey, how are you?" email in the year following. And now another falls prey to the smothering demands of a new girlfriend.
ROI = zero, nil, nada, zilch, go to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200, you lose.
Time to disable my doorbell.
2 comments:
Shana said.... (too lazy to sign up)
I have people like that, who sort of passed by my life. Disappeared without a word, felt very insignificant, felt angry, or any emotion that may describe a particular situation. You have heard me complaining about them and I built a barrier around that would fit that particular person/situation. Wheather that person realizes it or not, the most thing that consumed me was my own anger and frustration. So, I always try to see other factors I might have missed. So sorta like rationalizing...haha. Then, I try to understand the personality and understand the person as someone I knew. Maybe there were reasons that person had to disappear. Something I haven't done enough. Or it's just plain another "happening". Just like we go through many many people in our lives, maybe I was one of those "passing by" person. After all, wasn't meant to be a part of that person's life. Who knows... Then I count my blessings, count friends that have lasted through years of my life, whom even once in awhile, will give all the effort to keep in touch in a very small way. ^_^ I have a guy friend who is terrible at keeping in touch, but he will try to say hi here and there once in a blue moon. haha. So, don't close down just yet cuz I am sure there are so many yet to come through that door and change your life around or stick around for the rest of your life. ^_^
take heart, your kindness is not in vain. perhaps your friend has moved on and cannot repay your kindness, but your efforts were not wasted. we can't always expect kindness and friendship in return -- likewise, we often cannot repay the debt owed to our friends and strangers who cross our paths.
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